I oath to continue growing and the be honest with myself.
That was the short, simple oath I used when performing the ritual set out in week two of The Dedicant’s Path Through the Wheel of the Year. And if I’m to live up to that honesty, I must admit I’m starting to have serious doubts. I’ve fallen in love with Heathenry, with Asatru, with all of it (well maybe not all, those nazitru are big meanies). And as I feel myself growing closer to the gods and religion of my ancestors I feel farther away from ADF. The visualizations, the emphasis on magick – it all just seems to me to be little different than what Wicca or eclecticism offer. Ceremonial Magick dressed in trappings of ancient indigenous religions, however more accurate those trappings may be, still just doesn’t appeal to me. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with Ceremonial Magick, I imagine I might even incorporate some of it into my seidh-work as I explore that path. But seeing it incorporated as a fundamental part of my religion just rubs me the wrong way.
And can I say something about this blessings business? I do not believe the gods are great big ATMs in the sky. Put in an offering, get out a blessing! That’s just not how I see things. If Odin chooses to bless me, whatever that even means, then great. But I do not expect it from him, and I do not worship him because of it. I worship him because he is awe-inspiring, because he represents so much of what I believe is good and honorable in this world. And the idea of laying out a few tarot cards and then assuming that “[i]ndeed, the Powers [do] offer me blessings,” is presumptuous to me. What, because I laid out some tarot cards the elderkin must have blessed me? This seeming arrogance, combined with the idea of visualizing these blessings (so what, I should visualize some dollar signs or a heart maybe?) coming to me all just reminds me far too much of the prosperity gospel and its New Age variants.
I’m not giving up mind you. I’m struggling, and I’m not sure that this is for me, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t give it more of a chance than I have. Yet still, I have my doubts.
An alternative to asking what blessings are offered is asking whether the offerings were accepted, which a lot of people do.
Also, as I am on the autism spectrum, I have difficulty with visualization. I’ve found there isn’t much in terms of visualization within the DP, and not much on magic either. If you perform a ritual, you will get results, whether you visualize or not (I don’t). The only magic emphasized in the DP is the opening and closing of the Gates. Other than that, there is no magic unless you decide to take up the Initiate’s Path (IP).
I am also slightly offended by your conception of the ADF principle of reciprocity as an ATM. I, like you, am called to the Norse Deities by my Ancestry, yet I don’t see Them as ATMs. Offerings are made with love and honor, not with hopes of getting wishes granted. We offer to the Kindreds because they want and need our blessings, and in return they will give something back. “Blessings” does not always mean good things. The Kindreds give us challenges that must be overcome, but we learn and grow from these challenges, making them blessings.
Just some things to think about.
Many blessings,
Victoria (who is taking her Dedicant’s Oath in March)
Thanks for the wording change suggestion, I think I’ll be using that going forward.
I do want to let you know that this blog is a safe space for me to express my feelings. While it is never my intention to offend, I won’t be censoring myself as the primary purpose of the space is for me to be as honest with what I’m feeling or thinking as possible. That said, while I’m frankly tickled silly that anyone would read this blog and appreciate your comments, if my frankness is an issue you might want to avoid my writing.